Three Years Later

Three years ago my brother-in-law Brad died at the age of twenty-four. In April of 2005 he was within weeks of graduating and ready to be commissioned as an officer into the Air Force. He and his good friend John decided to have one final adventure before receiving their diplomas and moving out of state. They went canyoneering in Southern Utah and faced unexpected conditions that caused them both to die of hypothermia.

It was an unbelievable nightmare for my sister, Brad's wife, their families and friends. Brad and John were both experienced outdoorsmen, skilled climbers, athletes and Eagle Scouts. When we learned that they were overdue for their scheduled return we naturally assumed that they were so strong, capable and intelligent that they could not possibly be seriously injured or worse. The days that followed were terrible. We waited helplessly as the terrain was so treacherous that only trained search and rescue could enter the slot canyons to look for them. We waited, prayed, worried and did our best to think positively.

We are all so vulnerable to pain we can't prevent or control. Roxanne, my sister and Brad's wife, is doing okay, but what else can she do? The only good option is to move forward and do your best to be happy. The loneliness doesn't disappear and neither does the loss. Sometimes I feel the bitterness of injustice and almost angry that life isn't fair. However, I recognize that life is a small fraction of eternity and eternity is fair. Because of Jesus Christ all have equal access to eternal happiness.

We miss Brad. His goodness, humility, dedication and example of living life well have inspired me to be better. I trust in God's plan and give thanks for the mercy of sending His only begotten Son that overcame death.

Flexibility at Its Finest

I'm going to resume yoga next month, Mason has inspired me!

Shelley's Shower

Today we welcomed Shelley into the family. As tradition has it, the formal way to do this is for only women to get together, eat delicious food, and shower the future bride with lots of presents. Three generations gathered to visit and welcome the newest member of our clan. Now that I'm a "mature" woman I think there is so much wisdom in this practice. I enjoy kissing my husband and children goodbye and catching-up with loved ones away from home. (It's not quite the same with regular family gatherings as most of the time is spent "catching-up" with energetic children.)

In preparation for the bridal shower I asked Jayden and Shelley to each send me a list of ten things they most love about each other. It was so sweet! They have so much respect and admiration for each other and the special kind of love that every person hopes to have in their life. Together they are on cloud nine!

For me, Shelley is one of those people that I instantly feel comfortable with and liked her immediately. She is very down to earth and so easy to get along with. Our kids adore her, as do their cousins, and so it's not hard guess who will be the favorite aunt.

The photo includes my sister-in-laws and mother-in-law. (Yes, I know it's challenging to distinguish the youthful looking mother from the sisters, one would never guess she is 50.) (L-R, Becky, Shelley, Daryl, Jen, Me)

Lucky Man Marries Lucky Woman

Years ago Russ and I decided that "lucky is the man that marries Elisabeth". Elisabeth is Russ' cousin and our in opinion nearly flawless. We love her sense of humor, her ability to laugh at herself, her genuine concern for others, and passion for making ordinary days special days. I've personally been impressed with her complete lack of pride and love of life.

Tyler is the lucky man, and after getting to know him we have also decided that Elisabeth is also a lucky woman. They have so much to look forward to, because life is good when good people make it good.

Scrapbook a Scent

I wish we could preserve memories by capturing every part of the experience, the temperature, our mood, the background noise, the breeze and the smell. I vaguely recall a Star Trek episode where you could walk into a room and re-live a memory. I don't know if I want to take it that far, but I would like to preserve certain elements and keep them in a "Super Scrapbook." If I could scrapbook a scent the first would be the smell of a freshly bathed baby. That's a pleasant little joy that makes me smile.

"Look for the Sunlight in Life"

This weekend the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will gather for the 178th Annual General Conference. This one will be different than the others. Last January President Gordan B. Hinckley passed away, he will be missed greatly by the membership of the Church. His presence, testimony and love seem such an integral part of Conference. He has presided at every session of conference for the last 13 years and for as long as I've been alive he has participated as a member or the First Presidency or an apostle. After years of listening to his wisdom, personal experiences and heartfelt expressions of testimony and love, I felt like I knew him personally.

President Hinckley possessed so many of the attributes that I lack and by listening I felt that I was in the process of acquiring what I needed. He once counseled, "Look for the sunlight in life." I want to be an optimist, but I'm afraid that I'm naturally inclined to be a pessimist. It's very challenging for me to think positively about the future of our society and world. Moral degradation, idolatry, materialism and selfishness seem be taking over all that was once good. Naturally discouragement follows such dismal thinking.

President Hinckley was an optimist. I looked forward to hearing him speak because it was like being lifted up to better view of reality. He helped me to see the bigger picture and recognize that while there is so much wickedness, in the end good will triumph and in despite of our troubled world we can be happy and enjoy life's journey. He didn't just preach that message - he lived it! He joked often and helped me to stop being so serious and laugh with him.

When I heard about his passing my first reaction was just happiness that he would be with his deceased wife Majorie. My second thought was, "Don't leave us, we need you!" Now I feel a sense of gratitude. My life is better because of his, I feel more hope and less worry.

Here are some of his last words given to the membership of the church

"We know not all that lies ahead of us. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know. Like the Polar Star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our comfort, the very focus of our faith.

In sunshine and in shadow we look to Him, and He is there to assure and smile upon us.

He is the central focus of our worship. He is the Son of the living God, the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten in the flesh. He is “risen from the dead, … the firstfruits of them that slept”. He is the Lord who shall come again “to reign on the earth over his people”.

None so great has ever walked the earth. None other has made a comparable sacrifice or granted a comparable blessing. He is the Savior and the Redeemer of the world. I believe in Him. I declare His divinity without equivocation or compromise. I love Him. I speak the name of Jesus Christ in reverence and wonder. He is our King, our Lord, our Master, the living Christ, who stands on the right hand of His Father. He lives! He lives, resplendent and wonderful, the living Son of the living God."