Easter Weekend

Easter weekend began with the arrival of cousins on Friday afternoon. Elise and Jacob came to stay the night with us and Savannah went to Grandma's house for a sleepover with cousin Madeline. On Saturday morning we ate breakfast and listened to General Conference.

Around noon we gathered with relatives for an egg hunt. The forecast predicted snow in the afternoon so we met inside a seminary building.



We spent the afternoon session at home and welcomed Randy, Daryl, Tim, Jen and their kids to come watch it with us. Afterwards the men went out to eat before attending the Priesthood session and the rest of us stayed at our house.

On Sunday morning I woke up in an okay mood. The layer of snow on the ground was pretty but I just didn't feel the "happy" part of Easter. I made the mistake of reading some news and that sent me downhill. There are so many problems in the world and sometimes I let them get to me. I tried to remind myself that it was Easter and I should be celebrating Christ's victory over the grave. That wasn't so helpful, it only sparked the emotions connected to death.

Easter is the celebration of Christ's Resurrection and I felt like a doubting Thomas for being so down. I started to think about the untimely deaths of family and friends. I thought of my widowed sister, the recent passing of two angel cousins, and and a friend that lost his wife to cancer in February. I ached for them. Sometimes the Resurrection and Christ's return just can't come soon enough. I'm not much of a crier, but Sunday morning I really cried. Of course it wasn't for my own pain, but for the intense and lonely sorrow of those grieving their enormous losses.

I pulled myself together and joined Russ and the kids to watch the Sunday morning session of General Conference. I walked in during this talk by Elder Richard G. Scott. (Keep in mind that Elder Scott is a widower and that his first born son died at a young age during heart surgery and that his second child lived for only a few minutes after birth.) He spoke of things that I know, but the Spirit helped me to feel it in my heart. His message was profoundly sincere, comforting, reassuring, hopeful and uplifting.

Easter means more to me than it used to. I don't know that it will ever be as festive and light as it once was. It's now heavier - more tender and it leaves me with a sense of longing. Longing for the end of grieving caused by separation. However, it's also more personal and poignant. I know the Atonement is real and I am thankful for the miracle that is assured to each of us.